ASK THE EXPERT (ATE): UNDERSTANDING WOMEN’S FATIGUE BEYOND JUST BEING TIRED

Fatigue is one of the most common struggles faced by women, especially mums balancing work, parenting, and household responsibilities. But when does constant tiredness signal something more serious? To answer your questions about the causes of fatigue in women and mums, we gathered questions from our community and asked Dr. Odelia Koh, Medical Director at Prologue The Lifestyle Medical Clinic, to share her expert insights.

Why do I feel too tired to socialise, and prefer being alone even though it makes me sad?

Dr. Odelia Koh: When you are tired, it is common to want to reduce social interactions. This happens for a few reasons. For example, when one is tired, the body prioritises rest as conversations and socialising may feel draining. However if this is persistent even after rest, or it is accompanied by loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, low mood, and affects function and relationships, it would be recommended to speak to a doctor for a thorough evaluation.

Is forgetfulness and “blur moments” normal when I’m tired?

Dr. Koh: The occasional feeling that your memory is sluggish or not as sharp after a tiring day can be normal. However, if you notice that it does not improve after adequate rest, interferes with daily tasks, is accompanied by other symptoms like mood changes, or you have other medical conditions, it is important to speak to a healthcare provider to check for underlying causes.

Why am I still exhausted years after giving birth?

Dr. Koh: There are many reasons why postpartum tiredness may persist beyond the first few months. It can range from night awakenings by toddlers or chronic stress from constant caregiving and the many responsibilities of life. However, if it persists for years or affects one’s daily function and relationships, and especially if the children are sleeping better and the routine stabilising, it is a sign to see your healthcare provider to look for medical causes like anaemia or hormonal imbalances.

Why do weekends make me even more tired than weekdays?

Dr. Koh: Parenting is tiring, especially if it is continuous, without little rest time. This is a very common experience by many parents. When looking after children, there are physical needs (e.g. carrying, running), mental load (e.g. multi-tasking, planning, anticipating needs) and emotional demands (e.g. managing tantrums). However, it important to look after yourself to ensure that you do not burn out. Start with small steps to get enough sleep and me-time, eat well and stay hydrated, exercise regularly and lighten the mental load by reframing your mindset, delegate or externalise tasks by writing them down instead of keeping them in your mind.

How do working mums cope with double responsibilities?

Dr. Koh: It is definitely not easy juggling a career and coming home at the end of a work day to start caregiving. Getting enough rest, prioritising or outsourcing tasks are important to ensure that you look after yourself as well. At the same time while you try to find out what works best for you and your family, give yourself grace and focus on the positives of being a working mum – you are a role model for children for hard work and resilience.

How can I exercise when I already feel too tired?

Dr. Koh: This is a common struggle as physical, mental and emotional fatigue after a day of managing work and family is very real. At the same time, the benefits of exercise are numerous. Some practical steps to consider kickstarting your exercise journey would be to redefine how you look at exercise and start off with smaller segments of 5 to 10 min while building up duration and intensity. Build it into your routine (e.g. walk to do errands) and match it with your energy level (e.g. slow walk when very tired). Most important is to listen to your body, and if you find that the tiredness does not improve with rest or lasts for prolonged periods, consider getting a health check.

Why do I still feel like a zombie even after sleeping in?

Dr. Koh: Quality of sleep is as important as duration of sleep. When the sleep cycles are disrupted through the night, there is a lack of deep sleep, which is important for repair and loss of REM sleep, which is important for memory and mood. Sleeping in the next day might help a little, but it usually does not fully resolve the tiredness, as we have a body clock that is used to a certain wake/sleep timing, and one sleep in does not fully restore the sleep lost over multiple nights of interruption. However, if the tiredness persists despite having good sleep, do see a doctor to assess for underlying medical conditions.

My husband thinks I’m just lazy when I say I’m always tired. How do I explain?

Dr. Koh: Parenting is tiring as it is continuous and usually without much rest time. When looking after children, there are physical needs (e.g. carrying), mental load (e.g. multi-tasking, planning, anticipating needs) and emotional demands (e.g. managing tantrums). However, it is important to look after yourself, to ensure that you do not burn out. Start with small steps to get enough sleep and me time, eat well and stay hydrated, exercise regularly and lighten the mental load by reframing your mindset, delegate or externalise tasks by writing them down instead of keeping them in your mind. Listen to your body. However if the tiredness persists despite getting enough rest, it is a good idea to see a healthcare professional to look for any underlying medical problems.

Can coffee really cause iron deficiency?

Dr. Koh: There are a few components in coffee that affect iron absorption, of which polyphenols are thought to be a major inhibitor. For healthy individuals not at risk for iron deficiency, coffee has not been associated with iron deficiency. For those who are at risk for iron deficiency, they can consider timing their drink one to two hours apart from meals, consume vitamin C-rich foods, which can help with iron absorption, and eat iron-rich foods.

Why am I breathless after climbing just one flight of stairs?

Dr. Koh: There are many reasons for breathlessness and tiredness. However, it is always important to seek medical evaluation early to assess for serious medical causes such as heart or lung conditions or anaemia.

How can I regain stamina to play with my kids?

Dr. Koh: To start off, it is important to assess your health, weight and fitness level. There are many different reasons like lack of physical fitness. However, it is also important to evaluate for medical causes such as anaemia. Once medically cleared, you can start low and go slow with improving fitness through exercise, listening to your body along the way.

Could my fatigue be due to an autoimmune condition?

Dr. Koh: Autoimmune conditions can be one of the causes of fatigue. However, because of the vast number of autoimmune conditions and their variety of symptoms, it is important to consult a doctor if you are concerned about it. Some indications to seek medical attention are if the fatigue is overwhelming, persistent and does not improve with rest, or if it comes along with additional symptoms like joint pain, swelling or stiffness, rashes or thyroid symptoms.

Is my fatigue just parenting stress, or could it be depression?

Dr. Koh: Parenting can be stressful and tiring, and it is important to be able to distinguish it from depression which can look quite similar. The difference is the severity and duration. Some clues that could be more than just parenting stress would be low mood, loss of interest in activities, feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt, sleep disturbances, decreased ability to think or concentrate, weight or appetite changes, agitation or slowing down, or feeling that life is not worth living. If you are experiencing any of these, please seek medical attention as soon as possible.

When should I really be worried about fatigue?

Dr. Koh: Fatigue is something that everyone may experience, and it has a spectrum of severity. It becomes worrying if it persists despite having adequate rest, is out of proportion to the trigger, affects simple everyday tasks, or comes along with other symptoms like unintentional weight loss or gain, low mood and loss of interest, shortness of breath or chest discomfort. It is advisable to see a doctor for a check-up to assess for any underlying medical conditions.

Why do naps sometimes make me feel worse?

Dr. Koh: If a nap lasts too long (e.g. more than 30 to 40 minutes), you would have entered into deep sleep and waking up at this stage would make you feel groggy. This is called sleep inertia, and it can take about 35 minutes for it to go away. A nap late in the day can disrupt the internal body clock and reduce the nighttime sleep drive. Some tips to ensure that you are refreshed from your nap would be to keep it short, between 20 to 30 minutes and take naps early in the afternoon, before 3pm.

How do I tell the difference between stress-related fatigue and medical fatigue?

Dr. Koh: The severity of fatigue falls along a spectrum, but it becomes worrying if it persists despite having adequate rest, is out of proportion to the trigger, affects simple everyday tasks, or comes along with other symptoms like unintentional weight loss or gain, low mood and loss of interest, shortness of breath or chest discomfort. It is advisable to see a doctor for a check-up to assess for any underlying medical conditions.

Can long COVID cause persistent tiredness?

Dr. Koh: Some symptoms of long COVID include extreme tiredness, brain fog, and sleep problems, but these can also be seen in a variety of conditions. If the symptoms are persistent despite getting enough rest, are out of proportion to the trigger, or affect simple everyday tasks, it would be advisable to see a doctor for a comprehensive evaluation of underlying medical issues.

Is my tiredness just normal parenting fatigue, or something medical?

Dr. Koh: Parenting is tiring. Fatigue is a symptom that can arise from it and also from many other conditions. The severity of fatigue falls along a spectrum, but it becomes worrying if it persists despite having adequate rest, is out of proportion to the trigger, affects simple everyday tasks, or comes along with other symptoms like unintentional weight loss or gain, low mood and loss of interest, shortness of breath or chest discomfort. It is advisable to see a doctor for a check-up to assess for any underlying medical conditions.

Is there really a difference between being “tired” and having “fatigue”?

Dr. Koh: While these two terms tend to be used interchangeably, tiredness is usually a temporary feeling of exhaustion, usually due to a recent factor and improves after rest and sleep. Fatigue is a more persistent and stronger feeling of exhaustion, which may not be fully improved with rest. Fatigue can be a symptom of an underlying medical condition, such as thyroid issues and anaemia, and it is recommended to be evaluated by a healthcare team.

Are there safe supplements to boost energy levels for mums?

Dr. Koh: The safest and sustainable tips would be to prioritise good quality sleep, eat a balanced diet, engage in regular exercise, and use natural energy boosters like getting some morning sunlight and fresh air. Some tips to manage the mental load is to prioritise, break down big tasks into smaller steps and delegate. It is also prudent to check for medical causes such as anaemia or thyroid problems if you are still feeling exhausted despite making these lifestyle changes.

About Dr. Odelia Koh

Dr. Odelia Koh is the Medical Director at Prologue The Lifestyle Medical Clinic. She is an accredited Family Physician with a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery (M.B.B.S) from the National University of Singapore (2014) and a Master’s in Internal Medicine (2017).

Dr. Koh trained extensively in Internal Medicine and gained broad experience across hospitals, Accident & Emergency, the National Skin Centre, and polyclinics. Her exposure to both healthy and critically ill patients deepened her passion for Lifestyle Medicine and health screening.

Believing that health is an intentional journey, Dr. Odelia advocates for early detection, disease prevention, and personalised care, empowering patients to take charge of their well-being.

2025-09-12T11:32:41Z