OISIN MURPHY: ‘I SLEPT WITH A GIRL WHO HAD TAKEN COCAINE – THEN I FAILED A DRUG TEST’
On 19 July 2020, I was riding over in Chantilly and was required to provide a urine sample before the first race. Each racing authority will have its own rules as to how often this testing takes place, but in the UK it happens once a month, sometimes more frequently, and we’re used to it.
I came away from Chantilly obviously thinking no more about the test. Then, on 19 August while I was up at York riding Kameko in the Juddmonte International Stakes, I received a WhatsApp message from my sister, Bláithín. A letter had arrived from France Galop and she’d opened it and sent me a photo.
I can read French pretty well and it stated that the urine sample I’d provided at Chantilly had tested positive for metabolites of cocaine and could I contact them as soon as possible.
That evening after the races I called my trainer Andrew Balding, David Redvers who manages Qatar Racing and Sheikh Fahad who heads up the Quatar Racing team [Murphy has been the retained rider for them since 2016].
I then contacted the PJA [Professional Jockeys Association] who advised me to have a hair sample taken for independent analysis.
The resulting report would cover a three-month period and although it wouldn’t override the results of the test taken in France, it would definitely be a sensible move.
I agreed and organised it immediately. After all, had I taken cocaine would I really agree to something like this? Obviously not. It was the perfect way to proclaim my innocence.
As well as being conducted by an independent company and in front of two independent witnesses, the process was also recorded on video and then sent away for analysis. I also employed a French lawyer.
Four days later I received the results of the test which proved conclusively that I had not taken cocaine in the last three months. Further correspondence with France Galop through the PJA revealed that they intended to test the B Sample (we always give two).
Bearing in mind that this came from the same batch of urine as the A Sample, the result was a fait accompli. Sure enough, Sample B came back the same and I was charged by France Galop for testing positive for metabolites of cocaine.
At first I was shocked and alarmed by what had happened. I had never taken cocaine in my life and had been enjoying the best few months of my career. Why on earth would I not even jeopardise but ruin my career by doing something so incredibly stupid? Testing takes place regularly so you’d almost certainly get caught, particularly in France. There’s no hiding place these days.
But if I was innocent, you might be asking yourselves, how did cocaine get into my system?
The night before going to France I’d slept with a girl who had taken what must have been quite a large amount of cocaine and somewhere along the way a trace of that had been absorbed by me. Just to put it into perspective, the amount of cocaine we’re talking about here, had I been tested in Britain, I wouldn’t have failed the test.
It was minuscule, but the testing threshold is lower in France and I just had to accept it. If I race in a different country it’s up to me to familiarise myself with their rules, not the other way around, and if I fall foul of not doing so it’s my own fault.
What I was actually guilty of in this matter was putting myself in an environment where cocaine was present and knowing that was the case I should have left the place immediately. I didn’t though. Worse still, I ended up spending the night with somebody who’d been taking the stuff.
As you’d imagine, I would have preferred to keep something like this under wraps for a while. It wasn’t to be, though, and on 1 October, the news broke to the press. This came as somewhat of a relief at first as it felt like I’d been carrying an enormous weight on my shoulders. That relief was short-lived and the reaction from the press, not to mention the public, was bigger and more immediate than I anticipated.
As with the night in question, I’d judged this incorrectly. It’s astonishing how pious some people become when a story like this breaks. It presents an opportunity though, whereby a commentator or a member of the press (or public for that matter) can signal their own virtue via a controversial topic such as drugs in sport to the masses, hang the accused out to dry and at the same time help to sell a shedload of advertising and ingratiate themselves to their paymasters.
Never mind about things such as facts or whether or not the person is guilty, or even if there were extenuating circumstances. These paragons of virtue who seem to delight in being outraged by the mere suggestion that somebody might have transgressed usually can’t wait to pass sentence.
Some of the commentary I heard after the story broke was incredible, but not in a good way.
My two heroes, Frankie Dettori and Kieren Fallon, had both served suspensions after testing positive for cocaine and according to the press I was the next one to fall from grace. Incidentally, the common denominator with both Frankie and Kieren is that they’ve both admitted to having taken the drug when they were at a very low ebb.
I’m not excusing what they did, nor am I claiming that a jockey has never taken drugs for purely recreational purposes. Sometimes, though, you have to consider the reasons why an athlete might do such a thing and in terms of jockeys you’ll often arrive at either depression or anxiety.
In 2021 the British Medical Journal conducted a study into the mental health difficulties of professional jockeys. The results of the study indicated that jockeys reported “higher levels of depressive and anxiety symptoms compared with other elite athletes”.
Substance misuse and, in particular, excessive alcohol use also appeared greater among jockeys than among other elite athletes. It went on to say that risk factors for mental health difficulties include “injury, perceived stress, athlete burnout, career dissatisfaction and the contemplation of retirement”, and that weight-making “negatively impacts jockeys’” mood and attitudes towards eating, with lower competitive riding weights associated with more disordered eating attitudes.
Moreover, help-seeking from mental health professionals appears low.
The report concluded that it had identified “a high prevalence of symptoms of mental health difficulties among professional jockeys”, which was no great surprise.
As soon as the story broke I was encouraged by the PJA to release a statement, which I duly did. It read: “I have never taken cocaine in my life and I will do everything that I can to prove that I have not taken cocaine. I want to thank those who are supporting me and in the meantime I want to keep riding winners and focus on my career. I will have no further comment to make and wish to respect the processes of France Galop.”
What affected me most just after it went public wasn’t what the press were saying, it was what the public were saying. People went online saying that I deserved to die and I even received the odd death threat. There were messages of support among it all but they were in the minority at first. It was vitriol on an industrial scale and I took it all to heart. How can you not when it seems like the majority of the people who follow the sport you love and have dedicated your life to are against you?
Despite the above, I was far more concerned about how the people closest to me might react, as well as my fellow professionals. In the end I needn’t have worried. Everybody without exception – from Andrew and his wife Anna Lisa, David and Sheikh Fahad to the staff at the yards and tracks and my colleagues in the weighing room – was universally supportive.
Four of the first people to call me after it went public were Frankie Dettori, Kieren Fallon, Rab Havlin and Kieran Shoemark, all of whom had been in a similar situation. They told me that it would all blow over and that I should keep my head down, fight my corner if I had to and come back stronger. At the time it felt like my career was in danger of imploding, so it was exactly what I needed to hear and from exactly the right people. It made a huge difference.
The biggest worry initially, about not only my future but also Andrew’s, was that if France Galop did not accept the fact that I had been inadvertently contaminated by cocaine, then I was facing a six-month ban which would come into effect in mid-November and so preclude me from taking part in the start of the new season and, crucially, Guineas weekend.
If that came to pass then the fallout would be massive.
I remember sitting in Andrew and Anna Lisa’s kitchen having a cup of tea and joking about what I might do during my suspension (Andrew suggested I take up painting), but the truth of the matter was that for the sake of his business, Andrew’s loyalty to me would eventually be compromised if I couldn’t fulfil my part of our partnership. Nobody ever said as much but it was definitely something I worried about.
One thing this episode did not affect was my performance as a jockey. It was the only thing I still had full control over at the time and if I was going to get banned for six months I was determined that it would happen while I was at the very top of my game.
Another consideration was the championship, which I led at the time but not by much.
In the end I managed to get over the line but there was no presentation of the trophy. I obviously presented a bad image for horse racing and as disappointing as that was, I actually understood and respected the decision. Regardless of the circumstances, you cannot hand over a trophy for the most successful athlete in a sport if said athlete is up on a drugs charge.
That was the price for me having allowed myself to be in an environment where drugs were being taken and if I’d been in charge of the PJA I’d have done exactly the same thing.
‘Sacrifice’ by Oisin Murphy is published by Doubleday (£22) on October 9. To pre-order call 0844 871 1514 or visit books.telegraph.co.uk
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